Nordic Walking

You know what’s done wonders for my physical fitness since I’ve been in Germany? Nordic Walking. The first time someone told me about it, I thought he was telling me a joke. (I like to think that people here are getting used to me laughing at inappropriate places during conversation, but I may be just deluding myself.)

Basically, people get together in small groups or pairs and wander through green areas with two sticks that resemble ski poles. I’ve seen a lot of different techniques: some people just seem to drag their poles behind them; others use them in a power-walking kind of way; older people seem to use them for support. Regardless of technique, though, forests and parks are filled with people tromping around with sticks.

Why has this done wonders for my physical fitness? Have I invested in some second-hand poles and joined one of the packs of people wandering the green belt? Well, no.

Imagine for a second you are running in the forest. You’re by yourself; the leaves are changing; it’s beautiful. Suddenly, you hear a crashing noise. The forest is filled with a loud skritshing sound that seems to come from all directions at once. It sounds like a hoard of robots: insect-robots with sharp metal legs and gnashing mandibles. You picture hundreds of them, all with laser beams and heat-sensing vision. The world has been taken over. They are capturing people, eating people, torturing people by tearing them apart with their serrated metal claws. In fact, you are probably the last person left alive in Minden.

You would run faster, too, I know it.